The Family That Bikes Together, Sometimes Lives to Tell the Tale
Announcer: [reading] Yes, wherever bicycles are broken, or menaced by International Communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready! Ready to smash the communists, wipe them up, and shove them off the face of the earth... [yelling] Mash the dirty red scum! Kick 'em in the teeth where it hurts! Kill! Kill! Kill! Filthy bastards! Commies! I hate 'em, I hate 'em! Aaaah! Aaaah!
—Monty Python's Flying Circus, "How to Recognise Different Types of Trees from Quite a Long Way Away" (10/19/69)
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This past weekend GF and I went back to Performance Bike to see if I could get a deal on a replacement for the one that was stolen a couple of weeks ago.
The trial for the guy who took the last one, incidentally, is July 17. I got a notice in the mail that directed me to appear "as Victim" on that date.
Performance had a sale going on, plus I had a 10% off coupon, plus I had some of the loyalty points racked up (because of the old bike, natch). The bad news was that they didn't have another Voyageur in stock and weren't really expecting to see one in the near future. So after some more shopping around, a few test rides and such, I settled on this guy:
This is the Sierra, also by Schwinn. It's not a lot different from the Voyageur; probably a step down in overall sportiness. It's also got the regular brakes instead of the discs, but I'm OK with it now. I think the thing that put me off the regular brakes last time around was the fact that the fork has a shock absorber in it, which I wasn't used to. Thus, when I stopped hard, the whole front end of the bike will dip, making you feel like you're lofting the back wheel when actually you're not. It's also got a larger frame than the Voyageur had: I had a Medium frame on the Voyageur, but after a few rides I realized it felt just a bit too small for me, so I took the opportunity to get a Large frame on the new bike.
I actually rode the bike home from the store, which is a good couple of miles and in a headwind almost all the way. Naturally I waited until the new bike was safely locked in the garage before I called 911 to report the heart attack I was having. OK, that's not true. In fact, I felt pretty good although I realized I was going to be facing some stiff muscles the next day. If you know me, you realize that I don't exactly look like the athletic type. I may not look like much, but I'm wiry. Heh.
While we were at Performance, GF decided that it was time for her to get a bike as well. I thought we were going to hit Wal-Mart or some such for that, since she is probably going to use hers much less than I'll be using mine (I'm hoping to use it for the occasional work commute, for instance--she has no such plan). But, whatever, let's get her a bike. She did some test sits but no actual test rides, and it turns out that for her, the COLOR of the bike was the deal-breaker. She learned that the bike she liked wasn't available in the color that she wanted, however one was due in to the store in an upcoming shipment, so she placed a hold on that bike. As it turned out, she'd ordered the female version of the Sierra. So, except for the color, we've essentially got the same bicycle.
Of course, the bicycle is still the only machine out there that has sexes. Have you noticed that? What other piece of machinery gets definite "male" and "female" designations and actually looks different from one to the other? Ponder that one, if you will.
Anyway.
The bike came in this afternoon and we went to pick it up. Since she wasn't going to be riding it home, we also picked up a rack and an adapter for her bike (won't go on the rack nicely since the crossbar has that drop to it). So with the sale prices and the coupon and the loyalty club points and the guy throwing in GF's kickstand for nothing (they don't come automatically anymore), we got:
- My bike
- Her bike
- Rear rack for my bike
- Water bottles and racks for both
- Car carrier rack
- Adapter for GF's bike
- Helmets (2)
- Lock for my bike (oops, gotta get one for her)
all for about $550. Not a bad deal.
Now, all three of us have the bikes and GF thinks it'd be fun for the three of us to all go for a quick ride after dinner. I suggest that we hit the snowball stand up by SuperFresh. So we took the back alleys (first, for Wee One's safety; and second, so GF can get used to using the gears) that ran parallel to Harford Road, then when we ran out of alley, we rode the sidewalk the last block into the Parkville Shopping Center. But what happened was, GF still wasn't getting the hang of the gears, so she'd stop and walk the bike up some of the hill. Wee One would stop to wait for her mother. I wound up covering almost twice as much ground because I'd get ahead, then double back or just ride in circles till they caught up to me.
We got to the snowball stand and GF ordered snowballs while I adjusted both of our seats. Hers was loose laterally and mine was poking me in places better left un-poked, if you catch my drift. Again I tried to review the gears with her, and we mapped out the route back home: Taylor Ave to Moyer and so forth to our home stree and into the alley behind the house. Again, GF wanted to stick to sidewalks, thinking that Wee One would probably get wiped out by traffic. The problem was, on Taylor Avenue not all of the curbs have ramps cut in them. Plus, when I got ahead and then everyone else slowed down or stopped altogether, I wound up getting waaaay ahead because there was nowhere to turn around or ride in circles; I was on a narrow sidewalk with nowhere to go. Finally, on Moyer Avenue I abandoned the sidewalk altogether and just kept working in big loops in the street, getting ahead and then riding back to find out where the hell they were.
The street we live on is a modest rise, then an intersection, then it's downhill all the way to the house. At that point I basically waved "goodbye" to them and boogied down the hill and into the alleyway. My bike was locked up and in the garage before I saw either of them again.
So until everyone gets the hang of this, these family outings are going to be pretty excruciating. I'm thinking that the next time I take them anywhere, I'm going to leave them at home.

