Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Then there was the time I guest-starred on "The Cosby Show".
[Flashback to a Cosby Show episode]
Cliff Huxtable: Kids, this is your Grandpa Murphy.
Rudy Huxtable: But we've got three grandpas already.
Cliff Huxtable: This one's the famous jazz musician.
Rudy Huxtable: Ah, they all are.
Cliff Huxtable: Oh,oh-oh! You see, the kids these days, they listen to the rap music, which gives them the brain damage. With the hippin' and the hoppin' and the bippin' and the boppin', they don't know what the jazz is all about. Y'see, jazz is like Jello pudding... no, that's not it. Jazz is like Kodak film... no, that's not right neither. I've got it, jazz is like the new Coke - it'll be around forever.
[Back in the present]
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Sigh.
—The Simpsons, "'Round Springfield" (4/30/95)
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This evening, GF and I were at our neighbors' house for dinner. The husband, B, seemed to be a little out of sorts, so his wife suggested that he and I go out for a little while to have a few drinks. Hey! You don't have to ask me twice. Him, either. So he changed his shirt, I changed my shoes, and we met back at my house to head out somewhere.
Except...I couldn't find my wallet. Which was odd, because I got home relatively late, so I hadn't been all over the house. There were only a few places it could have been, and it didn't appear to be in any of them. I went out to the car and looked through my bookbag, the trunk, under the front seat...nothing.
GF suggested I take her ATM card and just get cash from the joint account and be done with it. So I got her card and got in his car.
"Maybe I left it on my desk?" I mused. "Do you mind if we see if maybe a custodian is still floating around Lake Clifton?" He didn't mind, so we headed down Harford Road toward the Lake Clifton campus, where my office is located.
Before we got there, he spotted a drive-through ATM for the bank where he keeps his account, so he pulled in and got some money, then we were on our way. B likes to test the limits of his cars, so we were doing some fun maneuvers at interesting rates of speed. "I don't usually get to do this, because usually I've got the kids," he explained.
We got to the school and, it being very close to 9:00 and looking more or less deserted, it didn't look good. Just before we were about to give up on getting into the building, I spotted the silhouette of a custodian. Better still, it was one of the building's custodians whom I know. (This is a BIG school, so I don't know all of the maintenance people.) I explained the situation to her and she agreed to let me in and walked me up to the office. No dice.
There's a certain peace in knowing that it's not there, specifically. At least you've eliminated it. Especially with a three-day weekend ahead; you don't want that "maybe" hanging over your head. I threw in the towel at that point and we headed for another ATM to get money for me.
B stopped his car at a gas station on Greenmount and 33rd Street. I told him that I was going to just walk up to the ATM at the Bank of Americawhile he filled up. "Be careful," he told me. Hey, it's Baltimore: what can happen? As it turned out, I could forget the PIN for GF's card, but a quick phone call solved that one. I got in the car and off we went.
We didn't have a destination in mind, and since I'm not really familiar with the drinking establishments at the north end of town, I wasn't much help. However, I did remember seeing a place called Holiday House which I'd heard positive things about. So we headed up there and went inside. The sign out front promised a band called "Rain Dogs".
Holiday House, it turns out, is almost nice enough to be called a "dive bar". We each got a beer and we sat at a table, sipping beer and listening to the Rain Dogs. This band is a bunch of guys who have about ten years or so on me, and it wasn't clear to me why they were playing here, or anywhere. It's not as though they were bad—in fact they weren't bad at all—but their demeanor was such that they expected to be treated as just so much background noise. So they'd play, for instance, the old Delbert McClinton song, "Givin' it Up For Your Love" and barely react to the smattering of applause they received. Then they'd just launch into the next mid-1970s number. We finished our drinks and got out.
B then suggested that we go to a place called The Haven, which he described as a Jazz club. I agreed, and off we went. When we got there, I felt kind of dumb. The Haven (actually, it's called the New Haven Lounge but the sign out front just reads "The Haven") is located in the Northwood Shopping Center. Between the McDonald's and the pharmacy in there, I've been in that plaza a hundred times, and I never knew this place was there. Before we went in, though, B started checking himself: he couldn't find the money he'd gotten from the ATM earlier. Mentally he retraced his steps and deduced that it must have fallen out of his jacket pocket at the Holiday House. He took this with a gentle good humor, though: "Oh well. Let me just go to the ATM over there."
The first ATM wasn't working right; the touch screen wasn't reacting correctly. The one next to it took his card but then never gave him the "enter your PIN" screen. After an interminable period, it finally spit his card back out. "Never mind," I said. "I've got fifty bucks, and we both have credit cards on us. We'll be OK."
We went in and of course there's a cover charge tonight (they don't do one every night, as I understand it). We order drinks and hit a table.
It's clear that this place is way different from the last one. People are here specifically to enjoy the live music. They're watching the band, which is a combo of guitar, drums, sax and organ. And I'm not talking cheesy little Yamaha electronic keyboard; this is a full-size, wooden-case, no-fooling-around jobbie. There was very little chatter going on in the audience; they were all paying attention to the music. They applauded after each solo and when the songs were over. And where the other band, once upon a time, would have been desperate for attention and is now grateful for it, this band (whose name I didn't catch, dammit) couldn't give a goddamn if anyone else was in the room. They sounded, and looked, as though they'd been freed by the music. They were fun to watch and fun to listen to.
So in the end, B lost his money and I lost my wallet, but we both had us some fun and got out for awhile.
And, of course, despite the (at least) ten-minute search before we left, I found my wallet in the house no more than thirty seconds after I arrived back home, I kid you not.