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September 19, 2010



It is getting worse. These are some truly awful songs. But if 'Gloria' by Laura Branigan isn't in the top ten, they've got it all wrong.


Not sure where you got your information about the song "Sometimes When We Touch", but there were only two writers listed on my old 45 and neither of them were Barry Manilow.
The song was written by Dan Hill and Barry Mann (not Manilow... not the same person).
Barry Mann has written/co-written countless hits, but only had one as a recording artist, "Who Put The Bomp" in 1961.


Yello: It's on MY list, but not on AOL's. Not to be a spoiler (for a list that's, you know, freely available), but they kind of punk out on some of the top 10.

Michelle: I'm going to stand by this one for the time being; it appears in far too many places. Manilow did record the song in 1996 and this is the thing that makes it a little murkier. But I've seen the writing credit as Dan Hill, Barry Mann (as you note), and Manilow. I'm going to keep digging, though. Thanks for your note.

Nick Koliarakis

More comments...

“I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)”, The Proclaimers - I actually never knew about this song since I had stopped listening to the radio full time right before this song came out. But this would mots definitely NOT be on my list.

“(You’re) Having My Baby”, Paul Anka - This would be in my Top Three All Time Worst songs. I agree it's VERY treacly! What line makes the reference to abortion? I never knew it had that reference. Also, look for an EXTREMELY OUTRAGEOUS act from the original Gong Show that used this song. I won't even describe it here - so outrageous it is!

“I Touch Myself”, The Divinyls - I always liked this, its not so subtle reference to autoeroticism notwithstanding. Somehow the song made me forget that, just like the lush arrangements and quality vocals on "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Vocal Band can make one forget what THAT song is about!

“We Didn’t Start the Fire”, Billy Joel - I don't know how this made any Worst Song list. That's great that you saw the World Premiere of the video in person. I can't make that claim for any music video! Having said that, some BJ videos can be a bit weird (this one is like that towards the end). But none can match "She's Right On Time" from the "Nylon Curtain" LP in terms of weirdness. Other BJ videos like "Tell Her About It", "Allentown", "Keeping The Faith", are okay, however.

“Sometimes When We Touch”, Dan Hill - A song I can listen to and, in fact, don't mind listening to. But it definitely lays it on thick in terms of the sensitivity. I think that Hill did better in his duet with Vonda Shepard (sp?). IIRC, his son had run with street gangs in Toronto and Hill was directly affected by this in some way. IIRC, I read this on Wikipedia. Will research further.

“Physical”, Olivia Newton-John - I remember that I could not get away from this song during the Fall of 1981. It was EVERYWHERE! I see that the song has its hooks and all, but I didn't like the way they dressed up Olivia in the leotards to veil the song's suggestiveness. The song is NOT about exercise!!!

“I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)”, Meat Loaf - The comeback single for someone who really could, and should, have had a more illustrious career. "Bat Out Of Hell" always will have a place in my music collection as one of the biggest Tour de Forces of the rock era.

“I Love Rock and Roll”, Britney Spears - Never heard this. Is this supposed to be a re-make of the Joan Jett song? Jett herself was the Queen of Remakes - Linda Ronstadt notwithstanding.

"Party All The Time”, Eddie Murphy - One of my more favorite songs during my Adelphi years. I used to re-hash it and sing "Why Do I talk dirty all the time, dirty all the time, dirty all the time?" in reference to EM's gratuitous use of profane language. I did indeed know that he had a girlfriend who was @ Adelphi when you and I were there. She was a bio major, in fact. I didn't know you knew her!

“Tubthumping”, Chumbawamba - No problem with this one. Any group that does an official World Cup soccer song (for England in 1998) is okay with me!

“Jump, Jump”, Kris Kross - I agree with you in giving it a pass. This is not a "Worst List" song in my book.

“The Loco-Motion”, Kylie Minogue - Only saw/heard this version of the song a couple of times. I was not impressed with the fact that it was being re-done the way it was.

“Mmm mmm mmm mmm”, Crash Test Dummies - I'm actually more familiar with "Weird Al" Yankovic's parody of this song called "Nightly News". Check it out sometime!

Nick Koliarakis

BTW, looked up those Anka lyrics. I do give him credit for singing that! But the song is still hard to take in a treacly kind of way.


For those who didn't look it up, the abortion line is "You could have swept it from your life but you wouldn't do it". Remember that this was only about a year after Roe v. Wade. Also, there were two episodes of the Gong Show notable for the song. One was a pair of boys dressed as a vagina and an umbilical cord singing the song; the other was an entire show of acts singing that song.

And yes, the Britney Spears song is a cover of Joan Jett.

Nick Koliarakis

Yes - the first of the two Gong Show references you made was the act I was referring to (and didn't want to mention). The act called themselves "The Embryo Twins".

As far as the lyrics - I never really paid attention. But again, credit to Mr. Anka and whoever else was responsible.

Again, I never heard the Spears version. But I am guessing I would like JJ's better.

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